While there is no such thing as objectivity as regards a person’s degree of empathy, I will concede I have always been a bit too sensitive. When I was in the early years of elementary school, I somehow won a prize at a county event for having the “saddest eyes”. Not only is that a dubious honor, but that this made the local newspaper casts some doubt on the validity of local journalism in the area at the time.

I not only try to not treat people like things, but I even treat some things like people. I think it helps to keep things in better condition and the reward to myself is those items last longer. Patting the microwave after it heats something and thanking it for what it just did means I am more likely to keep it clean. In fact, the inside of the one we currently own might meet the standards required for a surgical room. Actually, given the shocking lack of hygiene in most medical practices nowadays, the microwave is probably cleaner.

There is a downside to treating objects like people and that is the attachments I tend to form. Naming a car is always a bit dangerous, as very few vehicles will outlast their owners. That, and they are difficult to maintain anywhere near the condition they were in when they were on the dealership’s lot. My car prior to my current transportation was a choice so deliberately bland that any attachment was impossible. I wouldn’t go so far as to say it was Honda non grata, but I didn’t blink when I moved on to my current ride, one I acquired because I fell so instantly and thoroughly in love with the same make and model owned by my wife. As always, she is the brains of this household and I am just following her lead.

If anybody finds it strange I regard some objects in this manner, consider how much more likely a person is to be attached to their car than they are to most of the people around them. Empathy is always in short supply, but it has recently become particularly scarce.

While the U.S. is falling behind other countries in many ways, there doesn’t seen to be much talk about the growing empathy gap here. I am especially alarmed by a phrase which is becoming increasingly popular, and that is “toxic empathy.” Many on social media (and it is always social media, isn’t it?) have been cheering the deportation without due process of immigrants in the U.S., and some of those deportees have been sent to countries with dreadful humanitarian records. The increasingly dire state of our economy is increasing the number of people living without a permanent residence, yet recent years have seen increased violence against the homeless, and even legislation penalizing those who assist such people (“A City’s Campaign Against Homelessness Brings Stories of Violence”, The New York Times, January 9, 2024). Apathy from officials is so blatant that Senator Joni Ernst, in a town hall with her constituents, flippantly retorted to one attendee’s statement that Medicare cuts she approved with cost lives, said, “Well, we are all going to die.”

While some people will always been looking for a reason to vent their bottomless well of hate, I suspect most people are unconcerned about marginalized and vulnerable groups for two reasons. One is suppressed guilt regarding those groups, whether it be the good fortune to have been born in a country others risk their lives coming to or the ability to stay afloat when so many others have had the financial rug pulled out from under them. The other reason is fear that they themselves might fall down that slippery slope that leads to ruin. Superficially, most people seem to think they are bulletproof, but I think everybody is aware to some extent their current world is a bubble which could burst at any moment.

For both of those reasons, I think empathy is not just something we should aspire to, but something necessary for survival. If one perceives anybody less fortunate as an “other” with whom they share nothing in common, one will be oblivious to the signs to watch for in their own lives. Just one unexpected medical expense can be the difference between living comfortably in a suburban home and living out of your car. And it will be awfully difficult to maintain that car if that is your only shelter. Better go ahead and name it now. It would be a good idea to keep that in as ideal a condition as possible now.