Movie: No Man’s Woman (1955)

I have seen many news articles lately about subpar movies being dumped to streaming services.  These sound to me like the kind of pictures that, back in the days of Blockbuster, one would rent on a Friday night when all of the most desirable titles weren’t available.  Even if the film was enjoyable, you would rarely remember what it was come Monday.

This phenomenon existed before home video streaming, back in the days of the b-movie.  These would be on the second half of a double feature.  It was a movie that was just there to convince the audience their money was going further. 

1955’s No Man’s Woman is a textbook example of such a movie.  It isn’t bad but it isn’t very good, either.  It just adequately fills a predetermined amount of time and is sufficiently distracting enough.

The element that keeps it from being any better is Marie Windsor.  I’m not saying she a bad actress—actually, far from it.  She gleefully plays an evil bitch with such vigor that you’re just waiting for her to get killed.  And, once that happens, the remainder of the film becomes a dull mystery that is way too easy to solve.

Until her death, Windsor is clearly having a blast, and it is fun watching her.  She won’t let her husband have a divorce until he pays her $300,000.  As the owner of an art gallery, she tries to steal the fiancée of a meek employee, convincing Dick she wants to see his boat when she really wants Dick’s dick.  She has a newspaper art columnist wrapped around her finger, who uses his column to help her sell the art she buys.  When he’s fired and blacklisted by other papers, her only remorse is she now has to find somebody else to exploit.

So it isn’t any surprise when she gets done in.  That scene is actually pretty funny, as she just stands there yelling “NO!” until the person standing off-screen gets a good enough bead on her to shoot her in the stomach.  The average shooter could have emptied all of a revolver’s chambers into her in the lengthy time she stands stock-still.

Alas, solving the mystery is way too simple.  The first thing to consider is there are two happy couples involved and it is unlikely a movie of that era (let alone one this superficial) will break up either one.  Reinforcing that theory is this was made by Republic, one of the most budget-conscious of even the lesser studios of the time.  The stakes are bigger for a studio like that, so you know they are likely going to play it safe.

Another factor in solving the mystery is a lesson I learned from Roger Ebert, and that is the economy of characters.  Basically, take away four of the suspects, look at who is left and the killer is one of them.  Bonus points if the killer is the least assuming of the remainder, especially if it is ironic this is the person who committed the murder.

For a movie this slight, there are some zingers in the dialog.  Needless to say, all such lines occur while Windsor is still in the picture.  John Archer, as her miserable husband, lands some surprising punches, including, “She’s a witch, no matter how you spell it.”  Still, Windsor will continually have the upper-hand, such as after Archer smacks a glass from her hand, “That’s the most expensive martini you ever threw away.”

Not unlike most of the fare that goes directly to streaming services nowadays, you could do worse than No Man’s Woman.  It is easy to watch, nobody before or behind the camera does anything stupid, and you can feel clever at the end for correctly guessing the killer.

Dir: Franklin Adreon

Starring Marie Window, John Archer, Nancy Gates

Watched on Olive Films blu-ray