If you’re a hitman, don’t get an eye exam on the same day you’re scheduled to do a job. This is an important lesson I learned watching 1991’s Diary of a Hitman. In the meantime, I learned another lesson: there really isn’t any reason to spend 90 minutes watching Diary of a Hitman. The movie […]
Movie: The Boogeyman (2023)
Rob Savage was the writer/director of Host, my favorite movie of 2020. That horror film breathed fresh air into the genre of found footage, which was growing staid. Most pleasantly surprising to me was it was only as long as it needed to be, clocking in at 57 minutes. So when I heard Savage was […]
Movie: Messiah of Evil (completed 1971, released 1973)
It rarely happens, but sometimes I see a movie that seems to rip-off ones that came after it. Such is the case with 1973’s Messiah of Evil, which somehow has the unique look of 1977’s Suspiria and elements of 1981’s Dead & Buried. I seriously doubt either of the later films was influenced by the […]
Movie: Thursday’s Child (1943)
A 12 year old girl is in a waiting room. A man walks past her, does a double-take and orders her to stand up. He also demands she turn around. Has the proper reaction to this ever not been to knee the jerk in the balls and run? Sally Ann Howes plays Fennis Wilson, a […]
Movie: Inserts (1975)
In the first few years of the MPAA’s rating system, an X didn’t have the stigma that eventually led to it becoming equated with pornography. Many serious films were initially given that rating, only to be re-rated as R later. Films like Midnight Cowboy, A Clockwork Orange and Medium Cool. It isn’t often movies from […]
Movie: A Place in the Sun (1951)
I recently watched National Velvet for the first time, which starred a 12-year-old Elizabeth Taylor. Watching that film, I was surprised to see how confident she was at so young an age, and a bit disturbed by how she looked like my mental image of adult Taylor just shrunk down in size. And, yet, I […]
Movie: I’m All Right Jack (1959)
Even before the opening credits, you can tell 1959’s I’m All Right Jack is going to be an odd duck. We are introduced to an old man complaining about being woken from his nap by the revelry outside, which just happens to be public euphoria over WWII ending. A narrator informs us we will never […]
Movie: Baby Doll (1956)
All apologies to residents of the southern US states, whom I am about to offend, but I don’t understand the south. Similarly, I rarely connect with the works of Tennessee Williams, one of the most revered authors of that region. So it was a surprise to me that I was floored by 1956’s Baby Doll. […]
Movie: Valley Girl (1983)
Funny how perspective can change so much over time. In 1983’s Valley Girl, a hot mom played by Lee Purcell puts the moves on a high school boy who’s interested in her daughter. The scene is kind of funny, as she quotes lines from The Graduate and he has no idea what she’s talking about. […]
Movie: Legion (2010)
If there is a trope of this century’s horror movies which can die first, it is CGI things walking up walls and all over ceilings. That has never been scary, and never will be. In 2010’s Legion, we have two different possessed people who do this: one is an old woman and the other is […]
Movie: The Dungeonmaster (1984)
I’m not much of a gamer, but I’m pretty sure those who are tend to dislike games that are only composed of mini-games. Inevitably, those mini-games wouldn’t be sufficient on their own, nor do they collectively become a satisfying experience. Such is the case of 1984’s The Dungeonmaster, a title that makes a bit more […]
Movie: Shanghai Surprise (1986)
The making of some movies is so problematic that the resulting picture gets saddled with unnecessary baggage. As a result of this, it may become impossible for it to be judged fairly on its own merits. Such was the case of Ishtar, with its highly contentious shoot and cost overruns. Or what about Heaven’s Gate […]
Movie: The Ambulance (1990)
Prior to watching Larry Cohen’s 1990 picture The Ambulance, I had seen most of his films, though none as recent as this one. I was worried that, by this time, the director would have lost his taste for the bizarre quirks which distinguish his work. I needn’t have worried, as this film is an absolute […]
Movie: The Census Taker (1984)
Satirical black comedy is one of my favorite genres, but it is one of the most difficult to do successfully. And 1984’s The Census Taker is a near-complete failure. I was excited to Garrett Morris (Cooley High) as an annoying census taker who arrives at a suburban home at dinnertime. He threatens them with fines […]
Movie: Island of Terror (1966)
Only a horror film from the 1950’s or 1960’s would have scientists trying to cure cancer instead creating self-replicating monsters that eat people. I guess this could be a cure for cancer, if your intention was to create something that will kill everybody on the planet. The resulting creatures look a bit like turtles, only […]