For anybody who thinks my taste is movies is too high-falootin’, and skewed to disproportionately favor older cinema, I present to you my feelings concerning 1955’s Mister Roberts. This film was nominated for Best Picture, and has four screen legends top-billed: Henry Fonda, James Cagney, Wiliam Powell and Jack Lemmon, the last of whom won for Best Supporting Actor. But none of those aspects stopped me from hating it.
We’re only seven names into the opening credits when we see huge shout outs to Cinemascope and WarnerColor. And, indeed, this is a film that looks amazing at times. More regarding that “at times” in a bit.
The footage behind the text of those credits is pretty stunning: Naval destroyers and similarly huge ships stretch across the ocean in the dawn light. Then we cut to Henry Fonda supposedly watching those vessels through binoculars, but it is obvious he is standing on a soundstage. The ship he is supposedly on the deck of is completely stock still, with a sky such a uniform color it might as well be the backdrop for driver’s license and passport photos.
This is a largely set-bound film, so it is no surprise this was based on a very successful stage play. Fonda is even reprising his character from the stage version. Unfortunately, the starchiness of the roughly three-quarters of the film shot on a soundstage is made to look even worse when compared to the beauty of the footage shot in real environments.
Fonda had been wistfully watching the large ships going off to war in the Pacific. He wants to join the fight, but is stuck serving on a cargo ship that delivers supplies to various vessels and installations. Every request for transfer he submits is shot down by the captain, played by Cagney.
Cagney, though perhaps a bit too old for the role, is quite effective as the vain and capricious ruler of the vessel derided by the crew as “The Bucket”. Given the ship’s actual name is The Reluctant, I think the nickname may be a slight improvement. The captain is especially proud of a potted palm he received as an award. I found myself doubting the military ever bequeathed such unusual and impermanent trophies, but also didn’t bother to research this further.
Powell is even older, but his character is genial enough. As the ship’s doctor, he has been worn down by routine: “I’ve got to get down to my hypochondriacs”. He has an unusual talent for producing grain alcohol or, at least, flavoring it so that it can be passed off as higher class fare than homebrewed hooch. There’s a curious scene where he, Fonda and Lemmon doctor a batch of this using various things, including iodine. I wondered why Fonda knew in advance what iodine tastes like. The end goal was to emulate scotch so that Lemmon can use it basically roofie a nurse from a nearby island hospital. He’s pleased with the results: “That dumb little blond won’t know the difference!”
This movie has quite a problem with women. I understand the intention was the convey the frustration of a boatload of virile men who are repeatedly denied leave. Unfortunately, the movie condones some deeply appalling behavior, even if everything is only conveyed through dialog. The men work hard, so they rape hard. When they are finally allowed off the ship briefly while docked at a tropical isle, several crew members are almost immediately apprehended by MPs after leaving a trail of wreckage in their wake, including leaving multiple women with black eyes. On hearing this, Fonda and Powell essentially shrug, deciding boys will be rapey, violent boys, and send the motley lot back onto land for round two. Oh, and there’s the guy who drunkenly tries to bring a goat on board for what is obviously bestial purposes. And he’s not even the one even the sarcastic P.A. announcer who sounds uncannily like one of the Beastie Boys!
This film is largely a series of recurring bits, almost like watching a clip show from a long-running sitcom. Fonda writes a letter requesting a transfer. Cagney denies the transfer. Plans are made but never fulfilled to kill Cagney’s prized tree. That is, until somebody goes insane and tosses it into the water, resulting in the only time I have ever heard a movie character cry, “Plant overboard!” Lemmon’s schemey laundry officer eventually sets off a giant fire cracker in his area of responsibility, filling the ship with suds. I kept waiting for Jamie Farr to appear in a dress.
In addition to the extreme artificiality in the staging of Mister Roberts, it also has
the distinction of having some of the most inept ADR I have encountered. We frequently hear sounds, and even entire lines, spoken by actors when their lips aren’t moving. This is especially strange when Fonda goes on a tirade where he stomps around on a very unconvincing set of a ship, supposedly making loud whooping sounds without opening his mouth. I’m just glad nobody thought to subject the audience to the sounds of a sailor making sweet love to a barnyard animal off-screen.
Dir: John Ford, Mervyn LeRoy, Joshua Logan
Starring Henry Fonda, James Cagney, William Powell, Jack Lemmon
Watched on Warner Archive blu-ray (and is one of the very few discs from that distributor for which I have found a new home)