Revolving restaurants are a strange concept.  I have only eaten at one once before and the allure of it was lost on me, even while taking in the 360 degree view.

1936’s Love Before Breakfast has an even weirder…um, spin on the concept, and that is the tables are on a rotating platform in the middle of an establishment, one that doesn’t even have windows.  And it spins much faster than the restaurant I had been to, so I can only assume the intention of the proprietor was to induce the customers to vomit.  I would love to see somebody do that here and see the results from the centrifugal force.

Carole Lombard and fiancée Cesar Romero are dining on that platform, and it would have been awesome if she had projectile vomited from that onto Preston Foster.  You see, Foster is trying to woo Lombard and his counterintuitive approach is to use his wealth to grease the wheels of Romero’s success. 

This plan was suggested by right-hand man Richard Carle.  When Foster asks the man how he knows so much about women, the rather elderly Carle responds enthusiastically, “I’m a bachelor!”  It says something about the way some men think that Foster believes this credential gives the plan any credence.

Foster is a boor and a complete asshat, so it is no wonder he thinks this is a good idea.  He already had a number of odd views on women, such as him accidentally punching Lombard in the face in a large brawl at a restaurant involving many football players.  I wondered exactly how accidental that was, as he laughs about it later.  Even later, he says he wishes he had hit her harder.  As for those football players, I was surprised to see them in tuxedos, so I’m going to make a leap in logic here and assume the first Hooters had quite a stringent dress code.

Lombard can’t even go to the beauty parlor to avoid having to talk to Foster.  She only went there to get her black eye covered up, but Foster bribes the guy working on her and impersonates him.

Even with how much times have changed since this was released, I refuse to believe Foster’s deeply repellent millionaire could ever have been favorably regarded by an audience.  I would be very saddened if proven wrong.  The film’s attitude towards women even extends to the minor characters, such as  Lombard’s maid (Mia Ichioka) saying of herself, “Japanese girls like to be shoved around.”

The few elements of this I found interesting were period details such as the weird hats that keep appearing on Lombard’s head.  The strange aspect of this is I assume these aren’t supposed to be funny, but were simply the fashions of the time.  Seeing her with what looks to be an upside down shoe on her head with some lace around it can only recall Terry Gilliam’s Brazil. 

I deeply disliked Love Before Breakfast, and find it impossible to recommend, even with as much screentime as Lombard gets here.  It is obvious she is giving her best, but there is nothing anybody could do with this material.  Even the dialogue at times seems to suggest she is only enduring this.  At one point, Foster steals her horse (no joke!) when she was riding in the woods, leaving her to walk a great distance. Afterward, he asks her if she’s smiling, and she replies, “I’m only giving my face a rest.”  If what we see is her “resting bitch face”, it only confirms she is incredibly classy.

Dir: Walter Lang

Starring: Carole Lombard, Preston Foster, Cesar Romero

Watched as part of the Kino Lorber blu-ray box set Carole Lombard Collection II