Now here’s a strange animal—in a way, two of them, in fact. 1967’s King Kong Escapes pits the titular ape against a robotic version of himself. And it takes its sweet time getting to that matchup, filling the runtime up with things that aren’t very interesting, because the audience is desperately waiting for King Kong to battle Robo-Kong. Really, shouldn’t the film just be 90 minutes of that?
This is an odd movie that never seems sure as to what it is trying to do. I wasn’t too surprised this was a co-production of Rankin/Bass and Japan’s Toho, as the result is about as bizarre as one might expect from such a lineage.
When you work with the studio that gave the world Godzilla, you know you’re going to get somebody in a crummy giant lizard suit. This is the first creature defeated by Kong, on his home island of…Mondo? Not sure exactly why, but that name struck me as odd the first time somebody said it, and I’m still hung up on it long after the end credits.
Kong was saving a submarine’s doctor from the store-brand Godzilla. Blond and vertically challenged Linda Miller is in that role, as the object of Kong’s affection. Her scant C.V. on IMDB reveals she is was in the even worse The Green Slime in the role of “Nurse”. I guess if the comfortable work shoe fits…
A less thankless role is Mie Hama as a villainess with a fashion sense that seems to be positioning her as the Japanese Emma Peel. A bizarre recurring element of the dialog has characters speculating about her country of origin, about which she is incredibly vague. It never is settled, and I was bewildered as to why anybody, including her, is obsessed with this. I was only mildly surprised to discovered she had previously been in Toho’s King Kong vs. Godzilla, in the role Miller got stuck with here. She would go on to be a “Bond girl” in You Only Live Twice.
But Hama isn’t even the true villain of the film, and her duplicity is more of a Mata Hari type than diabolical supervillain. Instead, the honor goes to Hideyo Amamoto, as Dr. Who. I’m not even joking about that, he just happens to have the same name as the legendary UK cult TV show character, but only because the name was “Dr. Hu” in the original Japanese. At least he is voiced by Paul Frees, using the same voice he used for Boris Baronov on Rocky & Bullwinkle. That’s a good touch for a dastardly villain who wears a cape.
Dr. Who is the mastermind behind the creation of Robo-Kong, which he intends to use to mine a mysterious radioactive mineral. If you’re wondering why it took a robotic King Kong to do the job, you’re not alone. Even more confusing is it does this work in conjunction with a great deal of equipment only a professional mining operation would have, seemingly negating the need to have a 60-foot-tall android ape do the labor. I wonder when somebody in the US will consider using a giant robot ape for fracking.
Then the radiation scrambles the robot’s circuits, so it’s off to abduct the real Kong to do the work. This development had me even more confused. If radiation took out the robot, wouldn’t it be far less likely an organic being could succeed at the job? It’s like Dr. Who is convinced radioactive minerals can only be mined by giant apes, whether flesh or metal. Maybe it’s the same culture Hama was brought up in, and why she’s so secretive about it. Maybe she’s ashamed.
Also in the cast is Rhodes Reason, ostensibly as the lead and the commander of the sub on which Miller serves. Since it has taken me this long to get around to mentioning him, it is obvious his character isn’t very interesting or even that integral to the plot. Akira Takarada is his second-in-command and I have a nagging suspicion he was the sub commander in the Japanese edit. Honestly, it wouldn’t matter which actor was the alleged lead, as both are as stiff as cardboard. Neither, however, is a stiff as the bad dialog that is typical of this kind of thing, and every line is delivered by the actors as seriously as possibly, maximizing the potential for mockery.
The real star are the effects, which range from cute to appalling. There were some elements that greatly reminded me of 60’s cult TV show Thunderbirds, of which I am a fan. I especially liked the hovercar that ferries the submarine crew to and from Mondo Island, when a simple raft is usually employed for such a purpose. The film opens on miniature work of the sub supposedly underwater, and it was rather beautiful, if not fully convincing.
Unfortunately, there’s our real stars, the two Kongs. Oof. King Kong is a tatty suit with a raised area on the spine that is obviously concealing the zipper. In the head are two eyes with barely functioning eyelids and orbs behind which that cannot move. The dead eyes and constantly drooping eyelids leave one with the impression he is constantly on the verge of falling asleep. Robo-Kong fares even worse, as it is obviously a rubber suit and the actor inside can’t even be bothered to move like a creature made of hinges and bolts.
King Kong Escapes is a deeply stupid film, though it can be enjoyable in parts when in the right frame of mind. It often feels like a film at odds with itself, trying to rectify disparate elements. It is an awkward coproduction of American and Japanese companies. It wants to be like a Bond movie for kids while also being a “giant things fight each other” kind of deal. It never stops feeling like it is at least two different movies failing to be smooshed together into one product and yet, in the end, it feels like you’ve watched less than one film.
Dir: Ishirô Honda
Starring Rhodes Reason, Mie Hama, Linda Miller
Watched on blu-ray