I have never been on a cruise and I doubt I will ever have the desire to go on one. I’m hoping we’re past the worst of the COVID years, but I still dread the idea of being stuck on one of those ships during an outbreak. Slightly less appealing than that possibility is being on a such a boat only to discover it is packed with explosives, such as the one with is used to extort a ransom in 1974’s Juggernaut.
This film has some people you’ll recognize: Richard Harris, Omar Sharif, David Hemmings, Anthony Hopkins and Ian Holm. The last two, in particular, are impossibly young. There’s also Roy Kinnear, who some may recognize as a regular from director Richard Lester’s other films. I suspect Lester is not the best choice for a suspense thriller such as this, being primarily known for off-kilter, counter-culture comedies, such as How I Won the War and The Bed-Sitting Room.
It’s difficult to articulate exactly what is wrong this film except that very little is compelling. The actors largely look like they wish they were somewhere else which, if you’re Richard Harris’s bomb disposal expert, is probably true. To his credit, he seems both more present and more restrained than he did in Orca. That movie was more interesting, if only because it was such preposterous trash. Something I find telling is he has a tendency to portray self-pitying drunks, or at least he does is these two pictures.
Sharif is the ship’s captain, and Holm is its owner. The latter deals with the anonymous bomber, as well as a government official (John Stride) who consistently reminds him her majesty’s policy is to never pay ransoms. He also has to decide whether or not to let the customers of the cruise know they’re aboard a giant, floating bomb.
Not that the sad sacks among those guests would probably care much. Chief among them is Shirley Knight, who claims to have many several men, the captain among them, who service her regularly, and yet she is still blasé and bored. Then there’s Caroline Mortimer, the wife of Hopkins’s London detective. He stayed behind and she went on the cruise with their kids. She’s about as somber as Knight, so one would think these like minds would pal around more than in the only scene they’re in together.
The staff isn’t that much merrier. Kinnear is especially depressed, which makes it odd he is the ship’s entertainment director. But he’s not alone in his misery, as everybody on the crew seems to be unhappy. The only one who seems to be having any fun is the British waiter who tries to pass himself off as Indian to the guests, and you can guess how well that’s aged. At least he’s happier than Sharif, who appears bemused at all times, even though he’s been entertaining Knight in his cabin. This vessel is far less Love Boat and more “meh” boat.
To prove the explosives are not a hollow threat, three of them are activated at the time the first ransom call is made. One would think those explosions would make passengers suspect there are bombs on board, except there is a cover story devised for that. I found it amusing one of Mortimer’s kids has a book about boats, and so is able to tell a particular flag raised is signaling to another vessel there’s explosives on the ship. If there’s a flag for that, then I assume there’s one for every little aspect of the boat, including “LIMBO NIGHT!”
The other devices have been concealed in barrels placed at intervals along the length of the ship. These barrels will explode if jostled, but at least they can withstand the wild seas in which the boat finds itself. I never quite had a grasp upon, nor fully believed, the conditions which would trigger one of these bombs. At one point, the ship is bucking wildly enough that you have irritated staff stumbling all over the place trying not to spill trays loaded with food and beverages. In one of the few amusing moments, passengers desperate for amusement will try to play badminton and shuffleboard in vain. And yet, the violent rocking of the ship doesn’t trigger any of the bombs. But God forbid somebody try to move one of the barrels a millimeter—especially if it is any character other than Harris who is doing that.
Once two of the barrels have been penetrated by the experts, all manner of additional, clever triggering mechanisms are discovered, and I won’t reveal any of those here. While these elements are the best part of the picture, they are still limited in how they can drive the plot. Either they go boom or not. I was more engaged by an amusing transition early in the runtime when the sonar pings in the control room turn out to be the same sound from kids playing an arcade Pong knock-off in the game room. Or the attempt on land to trace where the terrorist’s calls are coming from, and Hopkins and others discover a room empty except for two telephones with the handsets arranged in a way so the conversation will go through one into the other.
I love heist movies and, although ransom movies aren’t quite the same thing, it can be argued they are in the same general wheelhouse. Juggernaut, despite its many moments of suspense along the lines of which wire to cut, left me bored and as antsy this ship’s passengers.
Dir: Richard Lester
Starring Richard Harris, Omar Sharif, David Hemmings, Anthony Hopkins, Shirley Knight, and so on
Watched on Kino Lorber blu-ray