A group of potatoes were watching a cricket test match from the stands. 

This was quite an international cast of characters.  Seated together were a May Queen from Japan, an Irish Mizen, a Russian Blue, a French Vitelotte, a Swiss Blaue St. Galler and a Chilean Cabritas.  Rounding out this otherwise sophisticated group was a common American spud.

It was a hot day.  Fortunately, not so hot as to be described as roasting, as that would obviously be of great concern to these tubers.  The spectators largely observed the match silently, though with one notable exception.

The crass American felt compelled to loudly regale those around him with descriptions of what they all could readily see happening on the green.  Mild coughs and sideways glances did nothing to abate the verbal assault.

Clearly, this American potato needed to learn some manners.  This tater would likely one day become French fries, but would never understand the social graces of the French.

One of the more sophisticated potatoes decided they had had enough.  Obviously, this low-class American tater was one S-P-U-D who would not S-T-F-U.

Nearly trembling with rage, the Cabritas demanded the American be quiet.

The American Russet was not at all embarrassed when he replied, “Sorry, but I can’t help myself.  I’m just a common tater.”